Friendshifts

Hubby and I are gearing up to do something we have managed to avoid for 16 years of married life: Renovations! Hence, I have been delaying decluttering by going through old photos. Which has led me to reminisce about friendships.

I once read somewhere that middle children tend to form a tight knit group of friends in their teen/adolescent years, almost like a surrogate family. If this is true, I certainly fit the bill. I remember countless hours on the phone, having intense conversations with friends, occasionally interrupted by the 'Call Waiting' beep - "I'll call you back, Ok?" - or my big sister, who wanted to use the phone herself. Ah yes, the days when there was only one telephone per household and you actually talked rather than texted...

Besides being a textbook middle child, I'm also one of those sentimental souls who like to keep physical momentos of every person who's ever impacted my life - cue the hoarding tendencies.
But, I've had to get a bit ruthless with chucking out momentos and am also rethinking my youthful ideals about what makes a 'good friend'.

I used to think that an ideal friend should understand you, actively support you, have common values and be ready to say a hard and honest word to you if necessary. Oh yeah, and be a friend for life. Talk about setting my potential friends up for failure!
Thankfully, I've realised over time that there are many different kinds of friendships. 'Friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for life' I believe a wise woman on the radio surmised.


'We were friends, and have become strangers to each other. But perhaps this is as it ought to be. We are two ships, each of which has its own goal and course. Our paths may cross and we may celebrate a feast together, as we did - and then the good ships rested so quietly in one harbour and in one sunshine that it may have looked as if they had reached their goal and as if they had but one goal. 
But then the almighty force of our tasks drove us apart again into different seas and sunny zones. That we had become strangers to one another is the law above us - by the same token we should also become more sacred to each other and the memory of our former friendship more sacred. 
There is probably a tremendous but invisible stellar orbit in which our very different ways and goals may be included as small parts of this path.'
Friedrich Nietzsche.

So here's to friends of all kinds, of all backgrounds, ages and stages. I truly believe that our lives are made richer by allowing non-relatives to share in our lives. Even if it's just for a brief time, they still help to shape you and hopefully you, them. And, if you have the good fortune to have a handful of like-minded pals who've stuck with you through stormy and calm waters, count yourself incredibly blessed.