The Mango Test

It's really hard to know how you are doing as a mum of little kids. If you have high standards (read: issues with perfectionism), you can end most days feeling defeated and inadequate. You can focus on what was left undone in your day and the small annoyances to do with managing the kids and trying to keep some semblence of order in the house; let alone serving up a dinner which had a few ingredients missing because there wasn't enough room in the pram to fit in everything on the shopping list and the 1 year old was twisting out of his straps and grabbing random groceries from shelves...

Anyway, I go through regular bouts of feeling like I'm not doing a great job at parenting. It's partly a personality thing (I often felt this way when I was a teacher), and partly because of the lack of tangible feedback - I won't really know if my efforts have paid off til my kids are grown up, in about 15 years time. (Maybe more if it's true that parenting is never finished, but let's keep it managable, shall we?)

the remaining fruit

But tonight, I stumbled upon a 'performance indicator' that lifted my spirits after a trying day at home. I'm calling it the Mango Test. As you know, it's the beginning of mango season and the yummy fruit is still quite pricey, so we just get 2 at a time, if they're on special. When I was a kid myself, my mum would always let us kids eat the fleshy 'cheeks' of the mango while she would suck on the 'seed' bit which is stringy and has barely any flesh.

This evening I promised my 3 year old that he could have some mango if he sat on the toilet (yep, that exciting stage!). He got his mango cheeks, and after doing the dishes, I sucked on the seed, mostly just to clear the kitchen bench. That's when I had my flashback to what my mum used to do. I had always assumed that she preferred the seed to the cheeks, but now I know that it's just what mums instinctively do - give the best parts to their kids. It's a small success, but I'm hanging on to it - we all need something to keep us going each day, hey?

So, hopefully you can figure out your own 'mango test' which will help you realise that you may be doing a better job than you think, at whatever it is you're facing today.

Smelling the mangoes,
helen xox