How was your trip?

It's been a bit over 2 weeks since we returned from our Chilean adventure. As you would expect, lots of people have asked us 'How was it?' Well, the short answer is: 'It was amazing!'

But that answer, even when fleshed out by brief descriptions of where we went, who we met, the food, a few of the cultural differences etc, it doesn't even come close to capturing the myriad of incredible sights, sounds, smells and interactions we got to experience and participate in for 3 short weeks. Not to mention the delight of reuniting with old friends and introducing our kids to theirs.

In the olden days, people would host 'slide nights' where they subjected their friends to blow by blow accounts of their holidays. 'And here we all are in front of the *insert famous but boring -looking landmark*, wearing tacky T-shirts or mixing it with the locals'...You get my drift.
These days we can do the same instantaneously through Instagram et al, but I for one get a bit sick of scrolling through umpteen images with little explanation or context.

Also, I think that as a 'reflector'-type personality, I need time to process my experiences before I feel able to share them in any meaningful way. But also being a procrastinator, I rarely get the ideal conditions I need to sit down and write out what has been doing the rounds in my head. Ah, the joy of being me!

So, a single photo and a thought will have to do for today. The photo is of me and my 2 boys in front of a majestic lake and mountain in the Torres del Paine National Park, way down in the Southernmost tip of Chile. We nicknamed them the Misty Mountains as Dan was reading 'The Hobbit' aloud while we were away.  I love it because it captures us, out 'in the wild' and out of our comfort zone, yet managing to live in the moment and enjoy one another. Maybe that is more than enough, even for a procrastinating reflector-type like me.

Misty Mountains

Go Set a Watchman

Recently my bookgroup decided to read Harper Lee's 1960 classic 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. I was in two minds about reading the companion book 'Go Set a Watchman', which was just published in 2015. But in the end I did. Here's an interview with myself about it. 

So why all the fuss? 

There was quite a bit of controversy in literary circles when it was first published last year because Lee was an old woman (she has since died), and some people felt that she may have been pressured into publishing this work which she actually wrote in the 1950s, before 'Mockingbird'. 

Basically, it's the story of Scout Finch's coming of age. She is 26, returning to her hometown of Maycomb, Alabama from studying up North in New York. She sees the town and its inhabitants through new eyes and questions her place in it. The biggest crisis relates to her relationship with her father Atticus. The book's climax describes the severing of her 'watchman' or conscience from that of her father and thereby becoming her own person. 

Are you glad you read it? 

I deliberated a fair bit before taking the plunge and reading it. Even then, I read it quite quickly and with low expectations. I tried to treat it as a research task and not get too emotionally involved. 

Clearly it is an inferior book - people who've said it's like the first draft of 'Mockingbird' are pretty much on the money. However, I didn't hate it. In fact, I think it helped me appreciate the first book in a new way. 

But what about the alleged portrayal of Atticus as a racist? 

Well, it wasn't as clear cut as all that, in my opinion. Seen through the eyes of Scout the child, Atticus Finch is pretty much faultless. But seen through the eyes of 20-something year old Scout, her god turns out to have clay feet. It is around the issue of civil rights that they clash - Scout is horrified at her hometown's calcified parochial attitudes towards Negroes, her own father included. Whereas the aging Atticus is uncomfortable about the rapid changes taking place and does not think that the Negroes are ready to participate in society as equals to their white counterparts. 

Personally I think it's a bit too easy to call somebody a racist from where we sit on the other side of Martin Luther King and the civil rights movement (which I must confess I know embarrassingly little about). If the Atticus of 'Mockingbird' is the same Atticus of 'Watchman', then he is a man of integrity and truly believes that all humans should be treated equally, simply because they are human. Scout does accuse him of denying Negroes full human rights because he doesn't think that they are 'ready' to have the vote. But he is also the kind of person who believed that not every white man should have the right to vote. So, maybe he was a bit racist by 21st century standards, but he was still ahead of his time.

OK, so would you recommend others to read 'Watchman'? 

Well, it depends. If you adored 'Mockingbird' as one of the finest pieces of literature ever written, then it may break your heart to read a lesser piece by the same author. If you loved the Atticus portrayed so brilliantly by Gregory Peck in the black & white movie, then maybe you'll be unimpressed by the 'shades of grey' version we find in 'Watchman'.

But, if you are curious about the wider social & historical context of the first book and you can handle a bit of uncomfortable exploration, then maybe it's worth a look. Someone in my book group suggested that 'Watchman' is actually the book we need to read today, in that it speaks to the question 'What is racism?' in a more nuanced  fashion than did 'Mockingbird'. It challenges us to consider the prejudices inherent in each of us and the enormous impact that a parent has on a child's worldview.

The message of 'Watchman' is consistent with that of 'Mockingbird' - "you never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them for a while". It also is a poignant tale of a young woman re-examining her childhood suppositions and finding her own path.

Friendshifts

Hubby and I are gearing up to do something we have managed to avoid for 16 years of married life: Renovations! Hence, I have been delaying decluttering by going through old photos. Which has led me to reminisce about friendships.

I once read somewhere that middle children tend to form a tight knit group of friends in their teen/adolescent years, almost like a surrogate family. If this is true, I certainly fit the bill. I remember countless hours on the phone, having intense conversations with friends, occasionally interrupted by the 'Call Waiting' beep - "I'll call you back, Ok?" - or my big sister, who wanted to use the phone herself. Ah yes, the days when there was only one telephone per household and you actually talked rather than texted...

Besides being a textbook middle child, I'm also one of those sentimental souls who like to keep physical momentos of every person who's ever impacted my life - cue the hoarding tendencies.
But, I've had to get a bit ruthless with chucking out momentos and am also rethinking my youthful ideals about what makes a 'good friend'.

I used to think that an ideal friend should understand you, actively support you, have common values and be ready to say a hard and honest word to you if necessary. Oh yeah, and be a friend for life. Talk about setting my potential friends up for failure!
Thankfully, I've realised over time that there are many different kinds of friendships. 'Friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for life' I believe a wise woman on the radio surmised.


'We were friends, and have become strangers to each other. But perhaps this is as it ought to be. We are two ships, each of which has its own goal and course. Our paths may cross and we may celebrate a feast together, as we did - and then the good ships rested so quietly in one harbour and in one sunshine that it may have looked as if they had reached their goal and as if they had but one goal. 
But then the almighty force of our tasks drove us apart again into different seas and sunny zones. That we had become strangers to one another is the law above us - by the same token we should also become more sacred to each other and the memory of our former friendship more sacred. 
There is probably a tremendous but invisible stellar orbit in which our very different ways and goals may be included as small parts of this path.'
Friedrich Nietzsche.

So here's to friends of all kinds, of all backgrounds, ages and stages. I truly believe that our lives are made richer by allowing non-relatives to share in our lives. Even if it's just for a brief time, they still help to shape you and hopefully you, them. And, if you have the good fortune to have a handful of like-minded pals who've stuck with you through stormy and calm waters, count yourself incredibly blessed.